♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to drew barrymore, adam sandler, dierks bentley and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. oh, my goodness. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a good night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> fred: from 30 rockerfeller plaza in new york it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kelly ripa, brad paisley,

author robyn doolittle, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: thank you very much for being here. i appreciate it. good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing? well? [ cheering and applause ] excellent. excellent. all right, let's get to the news. well, the next presidential election is still two years off, but speculation is all ready underway. a "new york times" poll says that eight out of ten democrats want hillary clinton to run for president in 2016. the same poll also shows that

ten out of ten democrats want chris christie to run against her. [ laughter ] like attack ads -- new attack ads every day. [ applause ] president obama has announced that 4 million people have signed up for obamacare. obama said he wants to hit 7 million users by the end of march, at which point he'll sell it to facebook for $10 billion. [ laughter ] [ cheering and applause ] that's the plan. that is in the plan all along. the new zuckerburg. [ laughter ] i don't know if you heard about this. the arizona state legislature passed a law that made it legal for businesses to deny service to gay customers. and tucker carlson told fox news this week, "if i don't want to bake you a cake for your gay wedding, that's called tolerance. but when you try and force me to bake a cake for your gay wedding, and threaten me with prison if i don't, that's called fascism." i think the more important issue

is, who is asking tucker carlson to bake all these wedding cakes. [ laughter and applause ] he seems like the worst person for that. i don't think he'd be good at that. i like this. i like what i'm about to tell you. [ laughter ] a florida woman was arrested for a dui after she failed a sobriety test and was caught driving nude from the waist down. [ audience ohs ] wait. they gave her a sobriety test? [ laughter ] pants. pants are the sobriety test. [ laughter and applause ] no way. if you're ever, like, walking out of a bar wondering if you should drive -- if you're not wearing your pants, you shouldn't drive. you probably can't drive because your keys are in your pants. [ laughter ] i got married over the summer, so -- [ cheering and applause ]

thank you. thank you very much. so this story was interesting to me. a new study has revealed that 60% of newlyweds have a sexual history with at least two of their wedding guests. at least two. even worse, 20% of newlyweds have a sexual future with at least one of their wedding guests. [ laughter ] hopefully not the caterer. [ laughter ] i love this story because i love moxie. a man in south carolina -- i like moxie. i'm not going to lie about it. i like it. i love this story. a man in south carolina tried to pay for his lunch with a counterfeit trillion dollar bill. [ laughter ] unfortunately, he came up short because he was having lunch at whole foods. [ cheering and applause ] i do feel bad.

when people -- in general, when people use counterfeit trillion dollar bills, i feel bad for the people with the real trillion dollar bills. [ light laughter ] because now every time they use it, they have to take out the pen and check it. i know we shouldn't feel too bad for them. they're obviously very wealthy, but still. a new drug called gravel, consisting of meth, bath salts and crack cocaine, has surfaced in the new york area. also surfacing in the new york area, rob ford. toronto mayor rob ford. [ applause ] did you guys -- did anyone here follow the amanda knox trial? [ scattered applause ] it's a weird thing to cheer for. i get it. [ laughter ] i kind of put you in a weird position by asking. well, the ex-boyfriend of amanda knox has started to backtrack from his insistence that she's innocent. saying that, looking back, her behavior does seem odd. in other words, he's just like

every other ex-boyfriend. yeah, dude. she was crazy, bro. [ laughter and applause ] today is national pistachio day. [ cheering and applause ] of course, at our house, we open all of the presents on pistachio eve. [ laughter ] fist bump. [ laughter ] it was a pistachio eve joke. a florida man was arrested after calling his ex-girlfriend 145 times in 11 hours. 145 times in 11 hours. and after they arrested him, he said, "hey, i get to make one phone call, right?" [ laughter and applause ] this next story is a bit of a miracle.

this is truly hard to believe. but after adopting triplets, an oklahoma couple have become pregnant with twins despite doctors saying they had a 10% chance of getting pregnant. when reached for comment, the father said it's like winning some sort of horrible reverse lottery. [ laughter ] yeah, no. yeah, i get it. you liked her the first one, then you're like, hey. california residents will be the first to try out cars that run on fuel made out of human waste. nice try, california. but no car will ever be crappier than the pt cruiser. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, any ice cream fans here? [ cheering and applause ] there you go. ben and jerry's announced their new line of ice cream with columns of fudge, jelly or carmel in the center. and you might as well try all three because he's not coming back. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, the 8g band with f 8g band with fred armisen! ♪ [ cheering and applause ]

>> seth: all right! thank you, 8g band. fred, it's so good to have you here. you are like the busiest guy i know. you have this show. you have "portlandia" starting this week. [ cheering and applause ] and no, i don't know if i should believe this. i don't know if this is something you're just making up, but i heard that backstage you were saying to somebody you just released a self-help book. >> fred: i did, and it's called "fill in the blanks." it's every other word. so it's a word and then a blank, and then a word and then a blank, and then a word and then a blank, and then a word and then a blank. so it just goes on. it's 700 pages. [ laughter ] and it comes with a magic marker. so get in there and fill in those extra -- >> seth: okay.

so now, my only question would be how is that helping anyone? like, what's the self-help part of it? >> fred: because you're self-helping yourself to write. see what i'm saying? so you're sort of -- it's like sort of help yourself. [ laughter ] grab a marker. you know, grab a pen. so it's that kind of thing. >> seth: so the idea is they will help themselves write this book. >> fred: yes, exactly. and they're sort of a co-author. >> seth: on the front does it say fred armisen or fred armisen and then a blank? >> fred: oh, it's fred blank. >> seth: so that's like a good practice because, if they get that wrong, they probably won't do very well on the rest. >> fred: exactly, and then continue on to the. [ laughter ] >> seth: so the first word is the? >> fred: at the very end there's "the -- end." >> seth: oh, i see. i don't think i would be good at this self-help book. what's the first word in the book? >> fred: hey. [ laughter and applause ]

>> seth: all right. >> fred: hey comma, and then -- >> seth: and then a blank. that's great. i don't know of any books that start hey. so this is a first. i'm really excited. and again, you are a trailblazer, and i'm so excited. so give it up for fred armisen the author. co-author. [ cheers and applause ] we had a really fun show last night. kanye west was here. he was outstanding. it was really fun to talk to him. he did an incredible medley of his songs. i'm a huge fan of his. it was great. and at the end he dropped the mic. but here is the thing, though. he broke the mic. [ laughter ] and, you know, the network, obviously, we had to go to them to get a new mic. they were like, "it's only been two shows. [ laughter ] mics don't grow on trees." so i don't want to be a bummer, but to all of the bands who come on the show, i'd just like to say, you know, we have mic stands for a reason. [ laughter ] like rock out, do your thing, have, but then, when you're done, if you could just calmly put it back in the mic stand.

[ laughter and applause ] make sure it's in there. that would be great. [ cheering and applause ] we also -- last night, seattle seahawks quarterback -- super bowl winning quarterback russell wilson was here. couldn't be a nicer guy. just a genuinely good person. and i feel bad, though, because i said that the seattle seahawks had ugly uniforms. and seattle fans on twitter pointed out to me, because i'm a pittsburgh steelers fan, that the steelers have -- their throwback uniform is this. [ laughter ] which is the worst uniform ever. it looks like -- it looks like a bee had sex with an alarm clock. [ laughter ] so -- [ applause ] to @djbobbyo on twitter, i just want to say, fair point, sir.

and it takes a lot for me to say i was put in my place by someone named @djbobbyo. but when you're wrong, you're wrong. and i was wrong. so it goes steelers uniforms, and then seahawks and then this one. we've got a great show tonight! from "live from kelly and michael," kelly ripa is here. [ cheers and applause ] musician brad paisley will sit down with us and play a song later in the program. and we've got the author of a great new book on toronto mayor rob ford, robyn doolittle. so we'll be right back with more "late night" after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] these days, a small business can save by sharing. like carpools... polly wants to know if we can pick her up. yeah, we can make room. yeah. [ male announcer ] ...office space. yes, we're loving this communal seating. oh, it's great. yeah. [ male announcer ] the best thing to share? a data plan. ♪ new at&t mobile share value plans for business. our best value plans ever. for example, you can get 10 gigs of data to share. and 5 lines would be $175 a month.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if you guys like weird news items but i love them. and i've noticed that whenever i run across a news story that's particularly bizarre, it's almost always something that happened in florida. [ light laughter ] i would swear sometimes they're made up. it is hard to tell the difference right? well we're going to see if you can tell the difference right now with our late-night game show -- >> audience: "fake or florida!" >> seth: let's bring in the contestants. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ fake or florida >> seth: all right. contestants, welcome. get your place behind the podium. get settled. so melissa, tell me where are you from and what do you do? >> i'm from new york and i work

in marketing. >> seth: all right, great. well, welcome, melissa, welcome to "fake or florida." >> all right. jason i see you here. where you from and what do you do? >> from hoboken and i work in finance across the street. >> seth: all right. right across the street. that's great. thanks for making the long trip. all right. [ laughter ] amanda, where are you from and what do you do? >> i'm from florida and i'm in grad school. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, so -- you're from florida, i think we're allowed to do that. you can still play, but you'll have to give you a handicap. so cassandra can you come out here and help us with that? all right you're going to need to wear a blind fold to even it up. [ laughter ] and that is a beautiful dress, cassandra. >> thanks i found it. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh yes. all right. [ cheers and applause ] take your time, cassandra. take your time. all right, let's begin. i will read the news story and you guess if it is fake or if it really happened in florida. if you're correct, you will hear the sound of retiree winning a bingo game. >> bingo! [ laughter ] >> seth: if your answer is incorrect you'll hear a pageant mom yelling at her 4-year-old.

>> amber, no! [ laughter ] >> seth: let's begin. contestant number one, melissa. a pastor in miami gardens told the press if he would eat a live cockroach as a stunt to bring more people to his mega church. fake or florida? >> definitely florida. >> bingo. >> seth: that's correct. [ cheers and applause ] and when you are correct on fake or florida, you get one manatee. [ laughter ] there you go. all right, are you ready, jason? >> yes. >> all right. a teacher in volusia county told her class that the white part of the candy cane represents jesus because jesus was white. fake or florida? >> think that was florida. >> bingo. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's right. why don't you throw a manatee on your score card. very well done jason. all right, amanda, you can't see right. >> no, but i can hear you. >> seth: okay, that's good. [ light laughter ]

i know how blindfolds work. [ laughter ] >> seth: a married couple in sanibel island invited a woman back from a bar for a threesome only to discover that the woman was the husband's ex-wife who he didn't recognize because she dyed her hair. fake or florida. >> florida. >> amber, no. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, that was fake. have a little bit of state pride. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, it's time for the second round. >> second round. >> seth: thank you, cassandra. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks i found it. >> seth: you found it, that's good. all right. correct answers in the second round are worth two manatees so the stakes are higher. all right, here we go. a man in pompano beach was hospitalized after he crashed his car into an embankment while his girlfriend was performing oral sex on him. fake or florida? >> i want to say fake. >> bingo. >> seth: nicely done. [ cheers and applause ]

so give yourself two more of those manatees. very well done. contestant number two, here we go jason. a woman who was asked by her girlfriend to move out later unpacked her belongings and discovered that her three dildos had had the ends chopped off. fake or florida? >> i'll go with florida again. >> bingo! [ applause ] >> seth: and for a bonus manatee, which end is the end of a dildo? [ laughter ] >> seth: good call. give yourself two manatees. and contestant number three, can you hear me. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> seth: by the way, you should know that blindfold looks like a bra for your eyes. [ laughter ] a 326 pound man in vero beach punched a dominos delivery

driver in the face because he forgot to bring garlic sauce. >> florida. >> amber, no. >> that did happen, but it was a 346 pound man. [ laughter ] >> seth: fake question. [ scratching ] [ crash ] all right. that was the sound of a raccoon pushing a satellite dish off of a carport which means it is time for the final round. [ cheering and applause ] >> final round. >> seth: okay, thank you, cassandra. thank you very much. okay, here we go, your final question. [ laughter ] cassandra, honey, you're still in the shot. you don't have to come all the way back. just -- >> sorry. >> seth: okay, all right. [ laughter ] >> seth: final question, here is your news item. this is worth 50 manatees. a man in st. petersburg was

arrested for throwing chunks of concrete at a hotel claiming that zombies were chasing him. now, before you answer, you all have mickey mouse gloves, will you please put them on and you can take off your blindfold amanda and put on your mickey mouse gloves. well done. good job melissa. there's no contestant for being first. don't be so braggy. [ laughter ] all right, you guys ready? one more time. a man in st. petersburg was arrested for throwing chunks of concrete at a hotel because he thought zombies were chasing him. fake or florida, write down your answers now. the 8g band plays soothing florida beach music. ♪ >> seth: beautiful florida beach music. and the final question. [ laughter ]

>> seth: all right, you guys have all written it down. let's hold up your answers. we have florida, we have fla and we have a florida with the #pride. [ laughter ] all right, the correct answer was florida. you are all right. that is a tie between melissa and jason. the winner of the inaugural round fake or florida, you win a full sized florida state flag, let's bring them out. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: the florida state flag is perfect for displaying state pride or covering up a hole in your drywall. and our runner-up, our home town girl amanda, you did the worst of everyone. a perfect florida ending. you will receive a book of weird news stories from florida so you won't be caught flat footed next time you find yourself playing -- >> audience: "fake or florida!" >> seth: we'll be right back with kelly ripa. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest, can be seen every morning as the co-host of "live with kelly and michael." please welcome the lovely

kelly ripa. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: hello, you look beautiful. >> thank you so much. i tried to look nice for you. >> seth: it is very kind. it is so nice to see you like in the evening. >> oh, i know. you're not used to seeing me in the evening. >> seth: i'm not used to it. i was very lucky to guest host live with you a few times. >> right. >> seth: it's so much fun. >> it's my privilege. >> seth: i learned so much from you just sitting there. >> really? >> seth: it was great. that is probably the only time i interviewed people before though. >> no kidding? >> seth: probably, yeah. >> i can't believe that. because you are such a natural for it. you have such a natural ability. >> seth: it's a thing that if you don't have a talk show, it is a creepy thing to do to people though. [ laughter ] if you are just on the subway, being like, "so you seem like you have some stuff coming up." [ laughter ] >> but here is what is happening now. now that you are a talk show host people will tell you everything about themselves always anywhere you go. i mean, i'll be in spin class

setting up a spin bike and somebody will be like, "so my brother just got arrested for drunk driving." and i'm like, why are you telling me this? >> seth: you know what you should say? you should always go, "that's great. we need to go to commercial." [ laughter ] >> that is why you are a genius. >> seth: so you're going to l.a. this weekend >> we are. >> seth: because you guys, you and michael are doing a morning after oscar special, correct? >> yes, our after oscar special. we do it every year for the past two years. [ light laughter ] i did it the year before without him so i was by myself. but it is kind of exciting to see celebrities in the wild, in their natural element walking on a red carpet with their publicist. >> seth: yes that must be very exciting for you but also, you -- this is strange for you because you have to do it at your normal time at 9:00 a.m. but you are in l.a. so you have to do a 6:00 a.m. show, then you will be up at the oscars and you will probably go to parties and stuff. not a lot of turn around. >> we made a pact to stay up all night. because last year we decided we would go to bed and try to get some sleep. but all you think is, my alarm clock is going to go off in an hour and a half. my alarm clock is going to go

off in an hour, 45 minutes, i've got a half an hour. if i close my eyes now, i get a 10 minute nap. so we are like forget it. let's just go to the parties and have a good time and show up for work drunk like our guests. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's great. that is something that people should keep an eye out for. [ cheers and applause ] >> keep an eye out for it. >> seth: now what do you do with the makeup situation? do you just let them makeup -- >> i'm going to look like a dirty prostitute. [ laughter ] last year i washed it off and i came back in and i looked very pure and everybody else was like drunk and hammered, and this year i'm like, i'm going to look like a dirty prostitute. >> seth: that's great. i think that is good for the morning audience. >> it's a good message to send. like don't get comfortable to be looking fresh. >> seth: well i think this is what l.a. does to you. >> this is l.a. >> seth: one night in hollywood and look at me. >> i was once a young starlet. >> seth: so at the oscars, do you have any movies you like this year that you are rooting for? >> you know, i kind of like everything this year. and i know that sounds ridiculous. >> seth: it sounds like someone who is going to be standing back stage at the oscars. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no i know. but i usually pick a favorite and i had a hard time this year because i have so many

favorites. i mean, there are so many films that moved me or terrified me or broke my heart or made me laugh or made me want to get breast implants that i just -- i just don't know where to begin. >> seth: you are really going for this whole prostitute thing. i like that. [ laughter ] >> i am. >> seth: a real transition. >> will you have me back on when i am? >> seth: i would love that. >> okay. >> seth: so i see a lot of events sometimes in new york. it is very nice. we end up going to a lot of things together. >> you are usually hosting them. >> seth: but you were at an event recently and they took a picture of you and i just want you to explain what is happening in this photo right here. >> yes, okay. so this is a picture that was splashed on every new york city newspaper and it was all over like what i call the news. which is is "entertainment tonight." >> seth: that's allison williams back there, right? >> that is allison williams and that is me and somebody was taking -- a fan was taking a picture of her and i started walking in front of it and i was like, oh, my gosh, i'm so sorry and i ducked and tiptoed by and everybody said i was falling

down drunk. [ light laughter ] >> seth: right. it does look like you are falling down drunk or it looks like, there is like right out of here like you are chasing a cat. [ laughter ] >> i was like, i'm so sorry. >> seth: i like your point too. it is a great idea to duck in front of a camera, but it is a bad plan if there are 100 other cameras. >> i wasn't even paying attention. and on a further note, if i was falling down, wouldn't that be cruel of allison williams to mock me that way. >> seth: she is fully laughing. she couldn't be happier about you falling down. >> she's mocking this. >> seth: that's great. she's just loving it. i will tell you because you are going to be on one, just as a rule, if you see her, if you are on a red carpet, there is probably a hundred cameras. >> but this is off the red carpet. this is where people wipe their feet before they go on the red carpet. [ laughter ] >> seth: this is not off the red carpet. [ laughter ] >> this is like -- you know how they have the big thing? the thing where, the step and repeat, you know the thing? this is where people get ready to go on the red carpet. i was just like gearing up. >> seth: it's a red carpet. >> okay.

>> seth: we are doing a quick color blindness test with kelly ripa. thank you so much. live after the oscars shows monday, march 3rd. it is so nice to have you. >> so happy to see you. so proud of you. >> seth: thank you very much. i'm proud of you too. we'll be back with brad paisley right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ aflac! aflac! got 'em. ♪ yeah, he's clean, boss. now listen to me, duck. i have an associate that met with, uh, an unfortunate accident. while he's been incapacitated, somebody's been paying him cash. now, is this your doing? aflac? now, if i met with some such accident, would aflac pay me? ♪ nice. this is your stop. [ male announcer ] find out what aflac can do for you and your family... aflac? [ male announcer ] ...at aflac.com. you're an emailing, texting, master of the digital universe. but do you protect yourself? ♪ apparently not. when you access everything,

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody.

my next guest is a country music superstar who has won three grammys and 14 cma awards. ladies and gentlemen, brad paisley. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: thank you so much for coming for this. >> thank you. that is the loudest late night band i've ever heard. >> seth: very loud. well you know fred. he is very loud. >> he's deaf. >> seth: listen to how loud he talks. [ laughter ] i'm so glad you're here. not a lot of people know this but you -- >> he's still talking. >> seth: you came and you played at my wedding. >> i did. i was desperate for a gig. [ cheering and applause ] i knew, real quick, i knew you were going to be there and my wife did not and that is her walking in to her first dance. [ laughter ] and i just want to say, i still haven't seen that face for me. [ laughter ] i also look happy but i wasn't happy you were there. here is why i was happy. we had gone to a like dance

rehearsal like a dance class to like learn our first dance. >> not you and i. you and -- >> seth: well you never showed up. [ laughter ] >> my wife and i had like practiced this dance we were going to do for our first song and i realized my happiness was she was going to be so surprised you were there she wouldn't want do the first dance and i was like, yes. [ laughter ] >> you ended up dancing. >> seth: we danced. we just didn't do our weird thing where we like sashayed around. >> that's kind of weird. [ laughter ] >> seth: it was just weird because we were bad at dancing. but you were great. you played our first dance and you played a dance for her and my father-in-law tom, who is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> tom is the one that -- every waking hour, i think he is going to karaoke bars and singing. >> seth: tom is -- i wouldn't be mad if you got a restraining order against tom. he is a huge country music fan. he couldn't believe you were at the wedding and like the day after we got married, when everybody is talking about what a beautiful night it was, he just looked at me and he goes, you know, "i can't tell you. brad paisley is the nicest guy." i was like i thought we were going to have like a father son moment and you're still talking

about brad paisley. >> i know. i'm sorry. i ruined that. >> seth: that is alright. that is fine. we are going to stay married but it is ruined. [ laughter ] you did ruin it. no, but now we've become friends. you and your wife and me and my wife and we came and saw you host the country music awards in nashville. >> we did and that is when you stole a car. >> seth: i didn't steal a car. >> he told this very unmanly story of changing -- >> seth: that i'm not good with cars. >> yeah, not good with cars. but he's like a thief though. that is the most manly thing you can do to a car, steal it. >> seth: let me explain. what happened was we went out to dinner with you in nashville and then you were like, you can drive our car over to the house in the morning. >> we had two cars at the restaurant. we'll just leave it with the valet. you guys take it. >> seth: right. so we've never seen the car. you gave us a valet ticket. >> right. >> seth: the next morning we went down. give the valet the ticket. porsche pulls up. >> you are like, all right. >> seth: i was like wow. there is money in country music. [ laughter ] and alexi and her sister were like we are driving the porsche. you are driving the rental car.

and so we're like, this is so great and we get to the restaurant and call your wife. >> you texted her. it's like there it is. "thanks for the porsche." she's like, "we don't have a porsche. [ laughter ] we have a chevy." >> seth: he said we have a chevy and you know it is mine because there is a half eaten salad in the passenger seat. [ laughter ] i think that is the farthest away from porsche. >> it was pretty far. >> seth: and so then we call -- this is my favorite thing is like just about the south and politeness. i call the valet and i'm like in a cold sweat because we have stolen a porsche. [ laughter ] and i call and i'm like hey, we took the wrong car. we have a porsche and they go, "oh yeah. just bring it on back." [ laughter ] so i drove a porsche like in the like breakdown lane at like 20 miles per hour because i didn't want to crash this porsche. >> right. >> seth: and we get back to the valet and then i was like -- they were just going to come back and meet me and he goes, "well if you want to just in, i'll drive the porsche back and drop you off at breakfast." i'm like, "no one drives the porsche!" [ laughter ] except the guy who owns the porsche. >> i promise you that person has no idea you drove their porsche. they didn't tell them. >> seth: no, i'm sure they didn't.

>> whoever has the, what was it, probably the -- you don't even know. >> seth: i didn't know. it was a porsche. they had to tell me it was a porsche. [ laughter ] so thank you so much for coming on. i heard you are going to play a song for us, right? >> we are. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with robyn doolittle. brad paisley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ some time? the next time you rent a dvd, don't bother rewinding it. the way i see it, it's the next guy's problem. oh, larry. she thinks i'm crazy. mm-hmm. but would a crazy person save 15% on car insurance in just 15 minutes? [ chuckles ] [ male announcer ] 15 minutes for a quote is crazy. with esurance, 7½ minutes could save you on car insurance. welcome to the modern world. esurance. backed by allstate. click or call. welto "you are here."man,ld.

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delicious, but say i press a few out flat, add some beef, sloppy joe sauce and cheese, fold it all up and boom! delicious unsloppy joes perfect for a school night. pillsbury grands biscuits. make dinner pop. ♪

[ male announcer ] don't wait for awesome... totino's pizza rolls gets you there in just 60 seconds. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. my next guest is a reporter for "the toronto star" and the author of "crazy town, the rob ford story." please welcome robyn doolittle. ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: this book is so great it was funny -- >> thanks. >> seth: saying to my writers -- i was reading this book. they're like what is it called, i said "crazy town" and they all laughed like it's a joke. it's actually called "crazy town." now, and for us here in the states and probably i would guess in other parts of canada except for toronto like he sort of came on the scene. what is the origin story of a guy like this.

because when you see he is mayor -- you're like how does this happen? how did somebody like this get elected in the first place? like what's his background? >> yeah, the world learned about rob ford last november-ish. maybe last may when the crack story first broke. but we -- in toronto, had all been dealing this for many years. he was first elected as a city counselor in the year 2000. and right off the bat distinguished himself unlike any other politician in canada, he was frequently screaming at other counselors, he'd say things that people would say are racist or bullying or homophobic. >> we have a clip from 2003 of him yelling at a city council meeting and let's take a look at that. >> and my understanding from staff is that those grants are -- >> there is no way i'm going to sit here and take this nonsense. i'm telling you right now. you are not going to continue this meeting until i get to move that budget because this stinks. [ indistinct yelling ] >> chairman!

>> i know he's a weasel. and weasels and snakes belong in the zoo. [ laughter ] >> seth: i really like weasels and snakes belong in the zoo because that is a bad zoo. [ laughter ] >> what's really interesting, is the council he is yelling at, a guy named giorgio mammolitti is one of his closest allies now. but they had this rivalry for any way, toronto city politics is nuts. >> and, you know, he seems that everything that happens he will deny until there's actual physical proof that it happened. like tell us a game -- with a hockey game in what is it, 2006? >> yeah. 2006. and this is the first time that these signs that maybe rob ford possibly having some sort of a drinking problem emerge. he was at a hockey game and you know canadians, we love our hockey so it's very exciting. [ scattered cheers ] yeah, two candaians. yeah, there's this couple sitting there and this big guy starts screaming and they are, "like, guy, can you quiet down we are trying to watch the hockey game." and yeah, eventually security comes and drags him off. he's totally hammered.

and then the couple turned to somebody and said, "do you know who that guy was?" yeah he was giving out business cards. and so he's a city counselor, rob ford. so they go home and google him and sure enough it's rob ford. and rob ford denied being there. said absolutely someone's trying to set me up. this is crazy, but he must have forgotten that he was giving out business cards cause then they were like -- but the business card here. so then he eventually said -- >> seth: i love the level of drunk is when you're handing out business cards. [ laughter ] it is like i do parties. >> and he poses for photos all of the time. i mean that's the theme in the book of the brazenness with which -- when he's in this state, he is still not afraid to pose for pictures, be videotaped. >> seth: this is the social media era and he wouldn't do interviews -- he wouldn't tell reporters where he was. but you could just go on twitter and track him. here's a photo he just took with a bachelorette party and that's him. [ laughter ] >> seth: and let me just say like it's really hard to take a picture with a bachelorette party and be the craziest looking person. [ laughter ]

and that's just him out on the street, the mayor of toronto just walking around one night. >> but that's how reporters track him, is we google him, because he doesn't release his schedule. and we put his name into twitter and sometimes it says he's at a basketball game or sometimes he's buying mickeys of vodka at the liquor store. >> seth: mickeys of vodka are the tiny vodkas that you can carry around. >> america, a mickey is a small bottle of vodka. >> seth: we don't drink here. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: sorry, we feel terrible for you but we just -- >> yeah. it's curious you don't have a word for that though. >> seth: what? for the tiny -- >> like a lapel sized -- >> seth: we go like this -- "i'll -- the little one." [ laughter ] that also works. now, tell me, this is to me, probably the most remarkable thing, is that he is still running for mayor. and he in recent polls, the poll that came out today, is tied for the lead right? [ light laughter ] >> i mean, don't get too judgmental america, you have your own politicians that we're paying attention to. >> seth: so you get our news?

[ laughter ] >> we do. >> seth: okay, okay. cool. [ laughter ] i was going to get judgmental but if you get our news, i get it, i get it. >> um, yeah, i mean, rob ford he has his faults for sure but he built a brand for ten years as a politician, a powerful politician that will actually phone you back. if you phone rob ford, he will actually call you back. >> seth: the other thing about just watching it even before i read your book, is he seems to be a man without shame. like everything that's happened i do feel and you sort of draw this conclusion in your book as well. there's are a lot of american politicians that would be shamed -- if any of this happened they would sort of resign in shame. and he sort of just like denies it -- and then he always sort of ends up -- 'cause even with the crack, he denied smoking crack until the video came out. >> until the police said that they had the video. >> seth: the police said they had the video. and then he said i did smoke crack but because i only had a lot to drink. and that was one of the things were like -- and i've had a lot to drink too, but i've never been at a party where i've had so much that i might i think i'm going to have a little bit of crack. [ laughter ] i mean when you look at the various scandals that have

happened south of the border, to me people they leave office because they don't want to come to work everyday and be asked embarrassing questions. like when rob ford comes in, we are like, did you drunk drive last night, do you still smoke crack? did you have a prostitute in your office as police documents allege which he denies. but, i mean, he's just happy coming to work and answering these questions or not answering these questions. some have called it the death of shame. >> seth: i'm just so psyched that you guys call the u.s. south of the border. [ laughter ] that to me is really exciting. >> seth: "crazy town" is a great book. "the rob ford story." it's in book stores now. robyn doolittle, everyone. we'll be right back with music from brad paisley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. now here to perform his hit single "the mona lisa," please welcome brad paisley. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ now there are men who make history there are men who change the world ♪ ♪ and there are men like me that simply find the right girl ♪ ♪ and in that very moment it all becomes clear what i'm meant to do the reason i'm here ♪ ♪ now every night i thank the lord i found you and every time i put my arms around you ♪

♪ i feel like the frame that gets to hold the mona lisa ♪ ♪ and i don't care if that's all i ever do ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ it never fails we walk in a room nobody sees me they're all lookin' at you ♪ ♪ i disappear but that's fine with me i feel the same way you're all i can see ♪ ♪ now they've written books about da vinci's muse now i know it wasn't but it shoulda been you ♪ ♪ 'cause i feel like the frame that gets to hold the mona lisa ♪

♪ and i don't care if that's all i ever do ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh ♪ >> hey! ♪ ♪ ♪ why don't we run off to paris while we're still young we could drink a little wine have a little fun ♪ ♪ i could tell you i love you in a foreign tongue ♪ ♪ we could work on our french

in more ways than one ♪ ♪ i could take your hand we could walk in the louvre i could show 'em real beauty ♪ ♪ let 'em get a load of you 'cause i feel like the frame that gets to hold the mona lisa ♪ ♪ and i don't care if that's all i ever do ♪ ♪ i feel like the frame that gets to hold the mona lisa ♪ ♪ and i don't care if that's all i'll ever do ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh

whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: brad paisley, everybody! the album, "wheelhouse," is available everywhere. you can see him on tour now. go to bradpaisley.com for dates. my thanks to kelly ripa, robyn doolittle! and once again, brad paisley, and of course the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> carson: well hello there. i'm carson daly and you've tuned into "last call." thank you for that, and here is tonight's line-up. we've got for our music we're going to visit the troubadour for the tv debut of lucius. in "the snapshot" we're going to get to know the gals of the seattle rock band la luz. but first it's time for our comedy spotlight. andi osho is a british comedian and actress who's pretty much conquered the u.k. she's preformed theater, she's acted in tv and film, she's even hosted her own show, and preformed comedy all over the country. well now, she's stateside and she recently stopped by the ice house to show us how it's done.